Yes. I have done it. I have joined Tinder.
I thought, what the hell, everyone is doing it, right? And it was time to get out there, to put on my big girl panties and face the world of dating. To be 100% honest, I have been on tinder a few times, but I end up getting so irritated that I delete my account within a couple of days. Not this time, oh no, I am in this for the long haul. Well, a week at least.
Did you know that there is actually a book called, ‘The men’s guide to tinder – the essential manual for tinder, dating and hookups.’ I kid you not. Granted, you can download it for free on Amazon, so it’s obviously not a best-seller, but still, seriously, the essential manual…Do you need a manual for Tinder? I thought you just needed data, a Facebook account and Photoshop or a good filter.
So I have been on it for a little while now and I have even been on a date. Sadly, it was not the worst date I have ever been on, I’ve been on some stinkers, but it was pretty bad. It was with a guy that I actually knew from Varsity. I remember him as being quite smart and sweet and, so, when he asked me for a drink I agreed with enthusiasm. First mistake, do not do ANYTHING with enthusiasm on Tinder.
We met the other night and, I am not really sure what he was expecting, but he was annoyed from the moment I said hi. Now, this would be understandable if my Tinder photo was ten years old and I had since morphed into Shrek, but I purposely put up recent photos. I even put up a rubbish photo I had taken at work with my glasses on to avoid any surprises, but still he was super unfriendly. In summary this is how the evening went:
Pam: Hi. So nice to see you again.
Varsity boy: Hi
(Pam desperately tries to think of conversation)
Pam: Gee, I am thirsty how about a drink?
Varsity boy: No thanks
Pam: Oh, okay, would you like to have some dinner?
(Granted as he said no to the drink, dinner was probably a push, but I was clutching a straws)
Varsity boy: I am hungry, but I am not going to eat
WTF???? Okay, I can’t take it anymore. It was torture. Let’s just jump 30 minutes into the future to where he said:
Well, thanks for the chat, but I’m usually in bed by now and you’re keeping me up.
Yes folks, he accused me of keeping him up. It was 21h30.
The problem with Tinder, and I suppose all dating, is that if your confidence isn’t great a bad first date can really knock you. Instead of thinking what a flippen jerk I went home and cried to Alison, my cat. She was unsympathetic. She prefers me single. In fact she routinely used to throw up on the politician’s pillow, which in hindsight should’ve been a sign.
Anyway, after discussing it in detail with my friends, as one does, we all decided he was a rude jerk and that it wasn’t me or my thighs or the fact that I laugh at my own jokes and talk too much when I am nervous – for the love of God someone had to do the talking!! I still can’t help feeling a little scared though. I have now even put up a really average full-body pic just to avoid any surprises.
For now I have decided to persist, to be brave and to really really try not to take things personally. I will see how I go.
Oh, I’ve just received a message from Hendrik:
Hi Gorgeous, you are drop dead beautiful. I have just come out of a really long relationship so not looking for much just hot sex!
Really Hendrik? Have you had much success with this approach?